Sunday, May 31, 2015

Let's Hate Soda




Mmmmm, I love me some soda. It's so sweet and tangy and you gotta love that carbonation. Altogether that is. If you take a closer look at each part of soda logic begins to break down. You see, myself, like most people, hate flat soda. What this means is you hate the fucking taste of that soda. Because that's all you're tasting. Likewise, carbonated water is some sort of abomination that gives you a really nice burning sensation as a fuck you for being healthy. So what does all of this mean? It means that soda is a product that, when broken down, is a bunch of shitty stuff everybody hates. But combined it somehow tricks us into thinking it's delicious. It's like if I took a house fire and anthrax poisoning and combined them, they would turn into something wonderful. There is must be some sort of black magic happening down in the dungeons of Coca Cola because I cannot understand how much I despise the individual aspects of pop while loving the whole shabang. So fuck you soda, for not making any goddamned sense.

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