Let's Hate Ninja Turtles (and Michael Bay)

   I remember enjoying the 80's/90's cartoon "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" as a kid. It was mindless fun and although it wasn't nearly as good as Inspector Gadget, I still watched it. That is, until I saw the first feature film featuring the same name. Seeing a skateboarding man in a hideous bipedal turtle suit was the first time I ever thought in my little head "what the fuck is this shit". It doesn't work. Giant mutant bro turtles that fight with "ninja" weapons and hit on human females is just creepy. So of course Michael Bay's production company, along with Nickelodeon are making a live action reboot starring Megan Fox in a role that I can only assume is some sort of amphibious sex interest. If that wasn't enough rumors have already surfaced that the turtles are aliens. So there's that.

Let's Hate This Shitter Box

   Hhheheh. Get it? Shitter box? So anyways, yeah, this is a designer litter box. See, for a little over $100 this wooden cabinet isn't bad. I actually like it. The problem though, is that this isn't just a wooden cabinet. It's a wooden cabinet that your cat shits and pisses in. In your living room. It is painfully obvious that this designer has never owned a cat. Because a cat owner would know a) cat shit smells like shit, and b) litter doesn't stop that fresh shit odor from wafting right into your mouth and nose. Poor bastard, he probably thought that litter boxes in living rooms was some sort of untapped market...

p.s. Imagine all that cat piss soaked wood. Nice.

Let's Hate Mosquitos

 

    

   

   "Hate mosquitos? Why, I would never!" you say, offended by even the suggestion that the lovely little blood sucking insects are in any way negative. "I love itching my arms like a meth head, not to mention the beauty in the high pitched whine I hear as they attempt to lay eggs in my ear! "I pause for a moment and consider what you have said, my own argument crumbling before your undeniable logic. I begin to make my statement, but you hit me with another rapid fire retort: "And don't you just love slapping one of them and bursting the warm bacteria infested blood of others on yourself and your new wound?" "Of course I do!" I chime in, forgetting that I was going to write about the Chikungunya Virus, a mosquito-based outbreak that has just hit the United States, and causes crippling joint pain (if you don't die) that can last for years....

Let's Hate China

 

    Or more specifically, let's hate the Chinese government. Xu Zhiyong, one of China's most prominent civil rights advocates, has been sentenced for four years in prison. Well alright, he probably started a riot and was protesting the Communist Party and oh? He just wanted rural children to receive education? And he specifically attempted to get those education services through the existing legal structure as a way to avoid pissing off the government? Well then some of you may be wondering why he received such a harsh punishment. It's because fuck children, this is China.