Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Let's Hate Missiles





If god was a game developer he'd have nerfed missiles by now. They're just so too OP. You got armor coming at you? Warships? Aircraft? Hell, got a different fucking missile homing up your ass, buddy? No worries, there's a missile for that. I'm not good with these new fangled "computer" things kids are using these days, but goddamn, does anyone really comprehend just how fucking smart this shit is? I mean... the US Navy is making lasers to try and protect them from modern missiles, we're building fuckin' Star Trek shit to try and help us avoid missile-on-male rape. You know what off bore-sight means? Your fighter jet can be going in the exact opposite direction of your target and you know who gives a fuck? Not your missile: it'll just pop off, flip around, and go after your enemy like Carrie Fischer catching a whiff of coke. And data link abilities now let us share each other's targeting data to let someone fire a missile and someone else take control of it or pass it on to yet another person until it annihilates something (think hot potato with a warhead). Some Pentagon guy must have caught a glimpse of his daughter watching Care Bears and thought "huh, Share Bear is right, sharing really is caring." And then proceeded to tell the president about it.

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