You know what's great about the Earth? We've got so much fucking water. Like, we've got more water than anything else. Everything else. Combined. Just sitting there. Yeah, most of it is salt water but desalination is easier and cheaper than making mcnuggets. And there's this crazy thing called the water cycle... Now, I'm not a third grader but I think the water cycle is this sort of "cycle" if you will, that means water is never used up entirely and just gets passed around in different forms. So water is pretty much something we'd never have to monetize as it intrinsically has no value due to universal abundance. I mean, I guess if I see a little malnourished Djibouti kid using bottled water I'd be okay with it, cause that place is fucked up. Like blood-diamond-tier fucked up, dude. But in normal U.S. suburbia? Where tap water runs clean and plentiful? That's some bullshit. The fact that we have water literally on fucking tap at all times yet buy bottles of it is both a testament to human cleverness and sheer stupidity. The fucking highschool hottie wearing Hollister sweats tucked into her Ugg boots who buys a VOSS everyday simultaneously represents the ability for mankind to make a buck off anything and the public's ability to throw away money on the stupidest shit imaginable. So if gambling is a tax on people who are bad at statistics, than bottled water is a tax on the Kardashian sapiens subspecies slowly (d)evolving from homo sapiens.
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